September 2002

Today I felt like doing more. Right now it 10:21 and I still don’t want to sleep,but go somewhere,anywhere. Though I don’t know where!
We are people who sleep early,my parents are already in bed but I don’t want to go to bed. I went to Borders and when we were in the car I told my mom,lets go somewhere else now,but I didn’t know where. Oh well …

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So that I would know that I have not wasted any of my time. So that each and every moment of this unknown period of time that we live each day can be remembered. So that I can think back everyday and say yesterday was the best day and today will be even better. So that when I am old, I would know that I have done things and I won’t feel sorry that I am old. So that I can say I had the best life when I was young and I still do. So that I would never feel ashamed of not having done anything. So that when I am ready to leave, I would be proud.

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As the weather changes, my attitude seems to change along with it. When it rains,everything is a blur,the memories seem to go away.When it is fogy,I am in a dream on the road.When it rains a little,humdity,sticky, like today,I want to complain about everything and nag. Though it is a good difference because if it were to stay the same,it would not be enjoyable.

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Does it ever end?
Does this world that we live in ever end?
The excitment,the action,the signs and attractions?
Does it ever end?
This game we play everyday, our life,does it end?
Does it matter if it ends,does it matter to us?
Does is all end together,without warning,without notice?
How does it end? Does it all disappear?
Where would we be when it ends? Would we even know when it ends?
Who cares if it ends? It’s not today is it?

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If I forget the past
And stay with the present
Maybe the longer it can last
If I forget the present
And live with the past
Then it might not be as pleasant
Though if I live the future
And live with my hopes
I might not see the new feature
So I might as well stay right here
And live my life the way it is now
And perhaps look for future with more desire.

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Today is where you make a difference,today you do something that you might never do again. You might see something that you may never see again. Today is your day to change everything,to become someone you want to be,to see the world,experience,travel,whatever. Today you can start to love yourself and accept who you are. You can be as happy as you can be,because it might end soon and you won’t have another chance. Today is special,because you’re alive,you can breath and you can enjoy every moment,you have freedom when so many people don’t,you have a better chance to live,where so many people don’t,you can enjoy your surroundings,where so many people can’t,you are special to someone,where so people aren’t. Today can be the best day of your life,so make it one.

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I wish to escape,to fly away
To be else where,somewhere far away
I wish to be alone,somewhere,in the distance
To be away from the tears of sky
From the roar of thunder
I wish to be anywhere,but here
To be someone I never was
To be someone whom no one was
I wish to be a bird,so I can fly up high
To be in sky,and to be above
I wish to go faraway,where no one cares
Where no one looks,or no one stares
Where there is peace and there is hope
To be free from everything,just everything
I wish to be way up high,where no one sees
All i’ll hear would be the laughter of sun
I wish to find myself
And who I really am
To be away,far far away

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I don’t want to be afraid
Of the darkness or the night
I don’t want to be afraid
Of the morning and its light
I don’t want to be afraid
Of the silent moon,up there so bright
I don’t want to be afraid
Of today or tomorrow’s games
I don’t want to be afraid
Of mysterys coming by everynight
I don’t want to be afraid
Of anything or of night

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Dreams and dreams,where you want to be forever
It can last long but not forever
You cannot escape,you cannot leave
It’s where you want to be or where you don’t want to be
It’s strange,it’s different,it’s weird and it’s reverent
It’s a whole new place,it’s a whole different space
It is endless in your thoughts,it is marvelous in your heart
It is like a web with no spider,like a bottle with no cider
It can have meaning or it can be strange
It is your thought at that very moment

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