October 2002

What ? Dreams?Work?Education?Fun?Ups and downs? Memories?Boredom?
Everything you can name. It is just the way it is and the way it will be forever,unless some day it all ends. Who knows if there is a day that it’ll all end,who knows if we have to go on and on forever until our soul is in the heavens. Time is priceless.It is infinite,goes forever but flies fast.Therefore it is golden. Your minutes and seconds are what makes up your whole life. You could be dancing all night,or reading all day. Gossping for an hour or praying day by day. Watching t.v for two hours and not remembering a thing afterwards. Anything you do counts and makes up your life. You think you have a lot of time,but you really don’t. Make something out of it then,do something so you can remember you did it. So you can use it for the future.Time is really running by.And life is full of it!

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Life is full of unforgettable memories. Both the worst and the best are imprisoned by our powerful mind.They follow us like shadows and won’t go away. Sometimes show themselves in our dreams in the strangest form. Wild and frightening they are at times.And ofcourse in our dreams there is no possible way to make them go away,God has made it that way. It is so real,almost hard to believe it’s just a dream. And it only reveals itself when the mind is finally awake. It is strong enough to help us remember a faint of the dream.
“Dreams follow us like shadows in the darkness”,”Dreams are endless thoughts in a person’s mind.”

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7:00 Am,I woke up this morning.The first thing I saw,out side the window infront of me,was the morning sky. Oh,it was so beautiful,I wanted to take a picture. There were those long stretchy clouds and the bottom was an orange color which later turned to purple. A purple sky! Really I’m not kidding. Oh it was so amazing!

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I am silent,I am still
I hear sounds and see the trees
I am silent,I am still
The pencil is moving across this field
I am silent,I am still
There is not a single speaken word
There is no movement,nor a sound
Only the pencil moving across this field

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Is a tree with green and yellow leaves, it’s autumn I think. It is cold,sunny though,the tree is half dark and half lit. I want to get out,I want go far beyond my window. Go forward,forward,forever until I am out of breath. I want to go far and see what’s there. The window won’t let me go that far away. It only makes me jealous of the beauty outside.I want to fly out of my window,and get out of this donjon.
I want to see the rest of God’s creation, I want to take off my sunglasses and see the world with my own eyes. If only I could get rid of this window,if only I could.

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You have probably heard the saying “laughter is a medicine to every pain”,well I believe that it is true. When you laugh,you probably have a reason right? You don’t just laugh,something makes you laugh. You might be happy,hyper,or just normal. But for a few seconds or a minute,you feel great,right? You forget about whatever pain you have,you forget about many things,you just laugh and at that moment you probably think only about the joke or whatever that made you laugh. It could be for a long time or just a few minutes,but no matter how long it is,you do forget the pain,trust me you do. Or atleast you are still enjoying yourself,maybe you have a very painful injury or sickness but laughter,even for a little while makes you feel something other than pain. Which I think is great! So laugh!

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I am me,just me and not you
I am me,myself and not you
I am me,can’t change,it’s just me
I am me,my whole body,my whole soul
I am me,who takes a space of this world
I am me,who walks among millions of others
I am me,who is one and only one,not many,not you
I am me,who thinks like me,who talks and laughs,not like you
I am me,with just one soul,with just one brain
I am me,not you,just ME

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Babies are probably the ones who have the most freedom in this world. They don’t have to think like we do,they don’t have to be prepared for life,yet. Though it will be over very soon,that they won’t even remember when they had that freedom. They are free from knowledge,and they are probably the only ones. Their world is completely different than ours. Everything that they get is prepared for them and they are free from the adult-world.

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I have seperate feelings for different places. When i am here, i feel free in some ways,i feel that every door is open though i must make the effort to move and go through each one. When i think about iran,when i was there,3 years ago. I think about how i used to feel,i can’t remember exactly,now when i think about iran, it is just a deep sad feeling. Like a place i know so well but haven’t been in a long time. I really want to go,really.

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