September 2005

Six years have passed but I’m still reminded of home. Every piece of this city has a part of Tehran in it. Sometimes it’s a small shop, sometimes it’s a street, and sometimes it’s just a smell or scent that takes me back to the past. But however small the reminders, Tehran remains a part of me…

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They told me high school will be the best four years of your life. They lied.
I realized it my sophomore year when I felt lost and unemotionally unprepared. Suddenly I was no longer stable; I was living in a sea of stress and didn’t know how to call for help. My junior year was the same. Life was demanding too much, school was demanding too much; I was a wreck…
Things have changed though. For the better I mean. I am now in my fourth year of high school and for the first time I am at peace with myself. I’ve stopped blaming myself for the things I can’t do. I don’t love myself yet, but I’ve come a long way. Everything is normal. Peace and tranquility, I am happily looking forward to whatever the future will bring. I don’t expect the world or life itself for that matter to make sense. Living and enjoying my life are much more important than figuring out what life is supposed to mean.
My perspectives have changed, maybe I am wiser. Maybe not. But one thing I know for sure is that I am happy and I have accepted who I am…I’ve never felt this way before. It’s beautiful. Life.

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I’m getting older. I see it now. Time is fleeting. I can’t stop the clock. But I think it’s ok. It’s okay to get older, I’m okay with it, it’s exciting. I’m no longer a little kid who fears the future; the future that I always tried to avoid is now here. I have to face it now… I have to trust myself…

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