I walked in, ready for my last session of therapy. As usual, I saw G’s bright smile and we exchanged a quick hello before I sat down in the waiting room. Minutes later I walked into her office and she told me about her new furniture. Instead of the old, red couches, she now had two black leather ones. We sat and I began talking. She was wearing another one of her sexy pairs of black high heels. We talked for 50 minutes and I told her I was happy and finally loved myself. I promised her I’d keep in touch via e-mail and would let her know when I heard from colleges.
I thought back to the first day I saw her. The first day I told her about my anxiety, my fears, and my inner problems. That was the first day I revealed an entire chapter of my life to a complete stranger, a stranger who became my most amazing friend. I talked and with every word I felt weak, heavy, as if I were a boat, slowly sinking. I felt like a broken glass and I couldn’t pick up the pieces. I sat there, wishing G would help me fix them. I wanted her to fix me. And she did. Together, we found my weaknesses and finally my acceptance to them.
I gave her one last hug before I wished her a happy time in England for her daughter’s wedding. “This isn’t good-bye, it’s good-bye to therapy,” She said and smiled.
We have our faults, our imperfections, our troubles, and our defects. But, there is a way to learn them, accept them, and even love them. When you love them, you can love yourself. You don’t have to be the “it” factor, the cover girl on a magazine, or the hero or heroine. What you can be is yourself and you can choose to love that self no matter how imbalanced or flawed it is.
I walked slowly down the steps, carrying my light-weighed backpack, towards the white door. I pushed the door open, remembering the times when I couldn’t push it open, when I didn’t have the want or the energy. A car stopped in front of me and a young girl came out, running past me. She was probably late and wanted to get in fast so she wouldn’t lose even five of those 50 minutes. I stood, feeling the vibe of February’s cool breeze.