Baba has been asking how I am lately. He notices when I am not okay. I sat next to him the other day when I was upset. I put my arms around him and rested my cheek against his smooth face. For a while, neither of us said anything. Then he said, “why are you upset? I am unhappy when you are upset.”
I didn’t know what to say to him. All I wanted to do was cry, which I later did when I went back to my room.
My Baba has a lot of doctor visits these days. He had a cataract surgery recently. I drive him and sit with him at the various offices. He likes that I go with him and always thanks me. He is anxious, a lot. He keeps losing weight and worries about his health. He gets nervous in the car. I try to convince him that he will be okay, but he focuses on his worries.
My Baba ages everyday that I am with him. Last night, I looked at his old photos when he was much younger, much healthier. He was a different person in the photos, always wearing the best outfits, the nicest suits with a matching tie, always around people, colleagues, friends, traveling, laughing, attending events, meetings, giving speeches. He looks important in these pictures. His hair is jet black and gelled up in a chic style. He even has nice abs in some of his beach pictures.
Aging is inevitable. I guess I can’t stop it from happening. I just have to be here when I am, be present and hopefully happy so he is happy. My Baba asks how I am and I want to say I am the happiest girl because I have him.