Sadia and I sat on a curb, near the front door of the school. I laughed hysterically about something she said. The sun shined, almost making me believe it would be warm. But it was a cold afternoon and I was too lazy to take my coat out of my backpack. I realized how tired I was. I had been to all of my seven classes. But I felt happy, laid back. I didn’t have to have a reason for my laughter or for my silly behavior, or for not caring, for not thinking. I didn’t have to rationalize in my head. I no longer have to.
Sometimes you change more than your outside appearance. You change your beliefs, your attitude, your decisions. You change the way you think, the way you reason. You take control over how far you go with those thoughts. You don’t get carried away with facts that are beyond your control.
What if I hadn’t changed? What if I’d remained as broken and as lost as I had once been? I decided to stop questioning myself.
Maybe I just learned to laugh and take life easy. Maybe I worked my way to get there. Or maybe time changed me. I guess I’ll never know for sure how I learned the game. I’ll just know that I learned it.