Chinese Tattoo

I order a coffee and momentarily stare at the girl’s tattoo that’s carefully inscribed on her neck as she punches buttons and takes my order. The tattoo is a Chinese inscription. I’m thinking of saying something about it but I don’t. I take my coffee and add sugar. I take a sip; it’s too bitter. I continue adding sugar, but it’s pointless. I pour the milk and continue stirring in the hopes of being rewarded with a sweet taste. I give up. An empty couch is to my right, I almost sink in, take out a book, my iPod and read, unwillingly, yet dutifully. The woman next to me is taking notes on the book she is reading. She doesn’t distract me; in fact, no one does.
Outside the Starbucks there are plenty of empty chairs. I sit to enjoy a cool breeze. But I am somewhere else, somewhere past the empty parking lot in front of me, somewhere past the lonely streets. Tonight is Friday and I am restless. I am depressed but I can’t even rationalize my feelings of despair. I have an urge to jump into a big pool and drown, sink, be weightless. Would that be too crazy, too insane? Am I angry at the world? No. Am I angry at myself? No.
I hug my pillow. Mother walks in and sees me sobbing by the window. She is hurt and I hate myself for hurting her. It’s nothing, I say. How can I explain what is inexplicable to me? You are tired, is that why? No mom. It’s not that. Talk to me. I don’t know what to say maman.
I don’t know what to say.
But I do know that I’m never going to order another coffee. I will stick to my vanilla latte. And if I ever get a tattoo, it won’t be on my neck.

Elle

The first thing I think about when I wake up is coffee. I love the smell, but I mostly love the comfort it provides. It makes me forget what is happening in the outside world. It makes me feel okay. It reminds me that I am alive and that I have a lot to be thankful for.

0 Comments, RSS

  2. hossein moslehabadi
    September 9, 2006 at 3:19 pm

    hi
    iam iranian
    i visit your weblog
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    if you can read farsi …
    سلام وبلاگ خوبی داری امیدوارم موفق باشی
    خوشحال شدم که وبلاگت رو دیدم

  3. amir
    September 10, 2006 at 1:49 am

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  5. Mohsen
    September 12, 2006 at 5:25 am

    Hi
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    I’m from Iran {Mashhad}
    Nice To meet Yor WebPage.
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    Bye
    سلام وبلاگ زیبایی دارید.
    Mohsen

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    September 12, 2006 at 6:55 pm

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