Perchance to dream

Mom smells the Caspian Sea when I open the window. Hurricane season has arrived and we are drenched by heavy rains and storms. Inside our cozy apartment that has no particular smell, we are trapped. But it’s a good entrapment, one that I want to cling and hold on to. Perhaps for security or to stay dry.
I have long forgotten the smell of the Caspian Sea. I have forgotten the feel of its sand, its soil, its shells and rocks. I long to touch the sea shells, the imperfect cream colored rocks that sparkled in the sun, the sand that cloaked my feet, keeping them warm and dry. Why is it that I long for things that now seem so unreachable? Why am I haunted by childhood memories that make me want to be a child again?
I was too absorbed by the American dream. And what I ultimately lost as a result was my childhood dream, the dream that I have no recollection of now. What was that dream?
Storms come and go, take things away, disrupt peace for a little while. Then we have order again. We go back to the norm. The sea does the same. After the calamity and the heavy waves, it calms itself. Once tranquility and peace arrives, we can sit by the shore, watch the waves, count the shells, wet our feet…perchance to dream.
Since writing is my American dream, I will take my pen and I will write about me and the Caspian Sea. I was a child then and the sea was mine. Now that I’m too far away, on another ship, living to the sound of rivers and lakes, the Caspian Sea has become my dream. I will find it again. One day soon, I will find my way back to its sand stones…I will build a sand castle right by the shore. I will watch the waves as they wash my castle away, as they destroy my only masterpiece. Only this time it won’t be fiction.

4 Comments, RSS

  1. saeid kalantari September 3, 2006 @ 2:18 pm

    salam ,Im searching someone to power over her.if you were in iran we could be good friends.this is the first time that i read your blog and i want to continue .

  2. sasha September 3, 2006 @ 5:56 am

    enghadr man ham havasesh kardam ke khoda midunee!!
    chend ruzi bud tu fekresh budam!!!
    ajab shere bahalie in balaee!!!
    khosham umad?!
    to chi?!
    mooch mooch!
    !!!

  3. anabell September 2, 2006 @ 7:55 pm

    Hi Bluebird,
    Bi salomati
    thanks for having added my comment to your site.
    I am wondering whether I may use your banner in order to link your blog to my homepage(You might have had a look at it. I am sorry that our English is sometimes bad; we are still learning English at University.). I simply enjoy your poems and what you have been writing.I like your style.The blog reminds me, as your pictures bear resemblence to my my friends, of Munes, Anes,Anis, Younis, Alast… my Persian gang from HH 😉
    Chastam,
    it is late here.
    cheers annabell
    Ladies, get ready!
    http://www.riot-zine.blogsot.com

  4. mojtaba September 2, 2006 @ 7:59 am

    I recently acquaint to your blog.I live in Iran.I want to send you below if you can read persian:
    باز کن پنجره را و به مهتاب بگو
    صفحه ذهن کبوتر آبي است
    خواب گل مهتابي است
    اي نهايت در تو، ابديت در تو
    اي هميشه با من، تا هميشه بودن
    باز کن چشمت را تا که گل باز شود
    قصه زندگي آغاز شود
    تا که از پنجره چشمانت، عشق آغاز شود
    تا دلم باز شود، تا دلم باز شود
    دلم اينجا تنگ است، دلم اينجا سرد است
    فصلها بي معني، آسمان بي رنگ است
    سرد سرد است اينجا، باز کن پنجره را
    باز کن چشمت را، گرم کن جان مرا
    اي هميشه آبي اي هميشه دريا
    اي تمام خورشيد اي هميشه گرما
    سرد سرد است اينجا باز کن پنجره را
    اي هميشه روشن، بازکن چشم به من

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