The good girl

My mother raised me as a “good kid”. She doesn’t remember me as a naughty, trouble-maker. She doesn’t have memories of me hitting my older siblings, running around, or secretly sneaking out of the house. She raised a rather quite girl who grew up wanting to please people, wanting their approval and acceptance. In a way, not breaking rules and needing to be as perfect as the word meant, was a burden.
I’m not a little girl anymore and I’ve made my mistakes along the way. In my own eyes, I have not been a perfectly innocent child. But in the eyes of most who know me, I’m the innocent, nice kid. I’m the kid who turns in homework on time and is never late to class. That’s the label they’ve put on me.
I’m thinking of the boyfriends I never had, the dates I never went on, the secret parties I never attended, the beer I never drank, the…But on a daily basis, I don’t have to think of these little things. I don’t have to think that maybe I missed out on something because I didn’t miss out. I lived life my own way. I decided to write. I decided to take it slow, whatever the “it” is. Society can label you, but you don’t have to keep that label.

One Comment, RSS

  1. Margaret March 15, 2006 @ 6:25 pm

    I was a little girl like you in that I always tried to be good and quiet and wanting approval and acceptance.
    I came out of my shell when I left school (I went to an all girls school) and went to university. I have had an unexpected and very happy and successful life.
    I am no longer quiet but still try to be “good” (whatever that means) and don’t think that I missed out on anything. Not starting from a point of antagonism and anger means that I have got on in life and my career by not making enemies readily.
    You need to be comfortable with yourself – the others don’t matter, even if they label you.

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