I was soooo tired today. I still am. What a week! I wish we could still have Monday off, oh well. I had to drag myself to all my classes, barely awake. But I paid attention anyway. Well there wasn’t really anything to pay attention to actually. First I had P.E( short for Pain Everyday), then Geometry ( we took a really easy test), Lunch- eating homemade sandwiches and reading a book, sometimes talking to friends near by, Spanish after that( Spanish 1-boring but easy) and finally Orchestra. I was too tired for that but I played anyway, I had to.
Yeah, life is hard but what isn’t?

Our Iranian new year is tomorrow. I don’t know whether I should be happy or not. I really don’t know. Everything changed suddenly. I mean the war with Iraq. I don’t like watching the news, I don’t like hearing about it. It just breaks my heart. I don’t like war, I like peace. Peace is what everybody wants, I know. But it’s almost never around is it?
There is another reason that I don’t know how I should feel. It’s my family. For the 4th time we won’t have a celebration with my sister and brother. They are there, we are here. Oh sometimes I just hate to think of the unfairness of life.

I hate rain, though not today. Today I didn’t hate it. I enjoyed every drop. I walked from school to home with my friend in the rain. We didn’t have to walk but we didn’t know it was gonna rain. So when it did, we thought oh great, we’ll get wet. But it wasn’t much. We did get wet but I liked it. For the first time I didn’t mind getting wet. It’s funny because when I was little I always wanted to walk in the rain.
Now I don’t. But today I did. I don’t really know why, I guess it was the fresh air and nice Spring odor. Yeah, I think that’s why.

The year is almost gone, yet I think I have time. Time to enjoy the month of March, the Spring, and the beauty of nature. I think that even though the year is almost gone, there is still a chance for me to find myself. To really find my soul. To make a difference in my life. The life I lead everyday, every morning, every night, every minute. I have to be honest, I enjoy my life the way it is, although I wish for some changes. Changes that would make it even better.
My sister and I, though miles and miles apart, are very close. She is fourteen years older than me, I love her just the same. She is my role model and truly inspires me. I always thought it would be nice to have a younger sister, since I was the last child. But later I realized that for me, having an older sister and two older brothers was way better. They are simply the best and I cannot ask for anyone better.
I feel lonely a lot of times, since not many people are around. Although by now, I am pretty much used to not having all my family around, it is still hard. I’ve had to deal with this since the second grade, when my dad left us for the first time. It was tough, it was weird and strange. It was hard to get used to it. See I’m a family girl, I cannot live without them. It’s just the way I am.
They mean everything to me, every single one of them. Every day I pray that one day we’ll all be together. One day we will and that day will be special. Sometimes thinking about it too much, exhausts me. Tears can’t even replace it. Only silence, where I can think about other things, laugh not cry and smile to what I have and not cry over what is not there. That’s the way I deal with life.

It’s saturday night already. Which means the day is already gone and the night has just begun. Although that will end too, pretty soon.
Today was another day, time gave no mercy. It just took my day away. I am sitting in my room, typing these words without even knowing why. Some nights I just think of things that make me angry and just mad. And the more I think about them, the worse it gets. So then I would have to think of good things and just try to fall asleep. Right now I don’t know exactly how I feel. I only wish I could talk to somebody.