My escape

The summer breeze is almost gone. Soon autumn will come again and the loads of homework and reading will take over my life once again…
Sometimes I think I too am searching for something…something that I don’t really know yet…something inside of me that my heart won’t let go of…
I’ve always wanted to escape but I never could…
I never could let go of my memories in Tehran…
I never could let go of my people…
It’s not easy to escape a place your heart knows so well…it’s like a map, sewed in my heart…I can never possibly let all of it go…all of my guilt for leaving…all of my wanting to go back…it would be like letting go of everything I know. Everything I love. Everything I have. Everything I need to survive…I need my past to survive in this strange yet wonderful world i live in now…I need it to help me go on, to help me move on, to help me find myself again, to help me find my desires and my hopes and my dreams and everything else that belongs to me…i never want to escape those thoughts or memories, i just want to be able to let it be a part of me, but not something that would make me feel guilt or pain or loss or shame… i want it to be a part of who i am but not something that brings me down, not something that tears me apart…

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