The world is sad. Like when you watch an old woman whose face is distorted, twisted in wrinkles, her eyes small and fragile, the eyeballs foggy and lifeless, the red veins swimming around the corners. The world is sad when you see a little child who gets no attention, whose eyes are full of fear and turmoil, whose lips are parted, struggling to speak and be heard.
These are strangers I see. Sad stranger whose lives are more bizarre, more strange and convoluted than the world itself. These are strangers that are tangled in the web of a sad world, an unbearable, ugly world.
I was at the doctor’s office yesterday, waiting to get a vaccine for cervical cancer, the new one they show on commercials. I was annoyed because my appointment was at 1 and the doctor didn’t see me until 1:45. While I waited, I saw an old man who walked with a cane with his sunglasses, his son by his side. And I saw an old woman who was applying cream to her lifeless hands full of wrinkles and soars. Her older daughter was asking her in Spanish if she was in pain. The old lady said yes, she was in pain and it burned. I was sad and I didn’t want to be there. I wanted to get up and leave and forget the stupid vaccine.
Then there came a guy, senor Carlos who wore a black leather jacket and dark blue jeans. He had been in a car accident earlier and was there to have himself checked, probably for minor injuries since we were in a clinic. He spoke in broken English to someone on the other line about how he hadn’t been able to go to work. I think he was speaking about damages and insurance. I am not sure.
I went inside finally and got the stupid vaccination. I enjoyed the momentary sensation I got from the pain that went through my body. And I felt sorry for the world. For its sad people. I felt sorry that people were in so much pain, waiting to be cured, helped, picked up, and I was sitting there for a stupid vaccine. I hated myself.