Identity

My mother was singing a traditional Iranian song by Marzieh (a famous singer) and it made me think of something. Not that I hadn’t thought of it before, but at that moment I suddenly thought of how much my mother has given up. She left a country where she’d lived fifty years of her life in. She gave up a life-time of memories, songs, people, culture, and everything that was life for her. For me, it was only eleven years and although those years meant a lot, they weren’t significant enough to shape who I am today. They weren’t big enough to give me an identity. But for someone like my mother, those years had shown her one culture, one setting, one language, one foundation of life. She had already found, I suppose, some sort of identity for herself, some form of reliance. But she had the courage to start over, begin from zero, start a whole new map of life…It amazes me, her power and strength, her courage and confidence to take such a jump, start a new life after years of one identity and be born again…But I see why and how she was able to do it: it was all for freedom…My mother is a believer, she didn’t think it was impossible to start anew and live in happiness. She didn’t think she was too old to be happy and have an American life. She was a believer and still is. Her book of life used to be pages of sadness and loss, but she refused to leave them that way. She wanted something and she knew it was possible to be a dreamer…

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  1. Hi there,
    Sorry I’ve been so reticent, but things happen and sometimes I don’t feel like talking. Probably not wise, but it’s the way I’m wired and I’ve learned how to deal with it.
    I’m also impressed with your mother, but why don’t you mention your father? Not a big deal, just curious. Regardless, a tremendous sacrifice on both their parts.
    Do you really think that your first 11 years didn’t create your identity? For me, that’s when most of my basic values were instilled. At least the ones that I consider positive to this day, and I think that in later years you’ll come to agree with me. You’re at that infamous in-between age, where there are so many questions that only you can answer and it’s hard to find the patience to wait for the answers. Patience is a virtue, unfortunately for me, I realized this too late and acted on some whims. It didn’t turn out bad, but had I thought things out more I could probably be equally successful in a place I want to be.
    Think before you act, and I know you already do. You’re a beautiful young woman with a very thoughtful mind. Your mind will take you to where you want to go whenever you decide where that is. It’s a pleasant journey despite occasional pitfalls. Don’t be afraid to dream…ask mom:)
    cheers,
    Dick

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