I don’t know who I am anymore. I have lost my place once again. I can’t quite figure out why or where I went wrong. The road is ahead of me and I am way behind, blocks away and every time I try to catch up I fall behind once again…There are so many things I could have done by now but I didn’t and I don’t know what stopped me…It’s not good enough to have dreams I’ve learned. It’s not good enough to me…I want more for myself… I want to break free from all the people I depend on. I depend on too many people. I am always waiting for someone to tell me what to do or where to go, I am always waiting for someone to call me back or leave a message on my phone… I want to do things my own way, I want to draw my own map of life, not someone else’s…I need to get out of here and start living for myself because I can’t live like this, it’s causing too much pain for me…
What was once satisfying for me is no longer satisfying, not even close…There are feelings inside of me that I am tired of trying to explain…
I didn’t have a single happy day this week…I tried to find a way out…but just couldn’t…